Yesterday.

We are back to normal.

Just like we are supposed to. Thanks blogger for accommodating my thoughts when I need it, because sometimes retrieving them is a wonderful thing.

As an occasional passer-by might guess from the previous post, Shane and I broke up. I don't want to write about details, because they aren't that important. I actually thought I was okay with it. A week in DC with Jazmin... and I was feeling fine. When Todd and Courtney picked me up at the train station - still fine. I did feel a little lonely hanging out with two couples that night, but most likely was too tired to be upset about it.

Next morning Shane came over to help me fix my truck, since as a single person, I needed my own mean of transportation (actually it would be nice to have one even when I am not single, but that's beyond the point). Long story short - we couldn't fix it. Too many things are wrong it. I had fun hanging out with Shane. We talked, laughed, he took me out to a new Japanese place. It was a great day. He left to go back to Ciesielskis later that evening.

I tried working on my homework and distracting myself in other ways. But it didn't help. I called Shane a couple times "to talk". I tried reading my blog. (I don't do it often). I came across something I wrote on December 13th. I understood how I feel, or at least how I felt then.

I called Shane and told him I am going to send him that blog. I felt like I needed to share. He read it and said he'd call me back. He called me back 20 minutes later. During those 20 minutes with a large amount of mental work, I was able to somewhat figure out what I really want. I wanted to be with Shane. I tried to write down all my thoughts as bullet points (here is the technical side of me). While talking to him on the phone I read them all to him. We talked for a while.

He finally said: "OK, I gotta go inside now. It is cold out". I started crying.

"Can't you just drive over here?" I asked

"I don't know" he answered

"Please..."

Then I heard someone was opening the front door. Todd and Courtney are back, I though. Now they will see  me all crying and upset, ugh. Slowly I realized the sounds coming from Shane's phone matched the ones coming from my front door. I still was doubting. The door opened and Shane walked in.

I don't think happy is the right word to describe how I feel. I felt more than that, far more.I ran up to Shane, gave him a hug and he kissed me.

It was wonderful.